Convert a negative stress into a positive one

Day 56 of coronavirus in France

Day 5 of enforced confinement

Here’s the real reason why you are angry

Your brain is hardwired to react to a lack of control or respect. Think about the last time you were a little angry. What was going on? Was someone disrespectful? What did you want to control? Use this exercise to analyze the biggest conflict and the smallest and categorize the elements of conflict as they relate to control or respect.

Today Cami asked to get out the Gentleness Game. It’s an exercise that I created for kids going through transitions that fills their creative toolbox with coping mechanisms and ways to communicate injustice and regain respect without lashing out. It’s tailored to each situation. We talk about the inappropriate behavior and print stock photos to represent them. Then we brainstorm twice as many appropriate behaviors that would be more effective in their fight for justice. We involve cards, gests, chanting, charades and role play to rewire our circuits until the chosen reaction become the new normal.

Take a step back and look at what you’ve been living these last few days.

What they told you What research is revealing
Transmitted by touch, droplets Transmitted by breath, hangs air 3 hrs
Only fragile people are susceptible 50% of ICU patients are under 60 yrs
Death rate was the same as flu Death rate is exponentially higher relative to the country’s reaction
Don’t meet in large groups Don’t cross people on the sidewalk
Test those needing hospitalization Test everyone
The sick wear masks Everyone wears masks
Take off school and work for two weeks This may take more than two months
Go vote Don’t go out
The # confirmed cases reflects all infected The # confirmed cases = only acute cases, not the millions who are carriers

I don’t think most of us have taken the time to assess the stressors in our lives. Allowing stressors to accumulate compounds the effect of new triggers. Naming them drains them of their power over us.

The thing about constantly changing information is that once you’ve accepted the new normal it becomes fact and it’s harder to unlearn. Fortunately, humans never stop learning. You will catch up. In the meantime, I know it’s hard.

We all know a coronavirus positive Grandmother who is quarantined from her husband and family.

We all know a coronavirus positive mother quarantined from her infant.

Italy has lost 14 healthcare workers, heroes fallen on the battlefield, and their war has not yet plateaued. (source)

In Madrid a patient dies every 16 minutes. (source)

“Adopting the right attitude
can convert a negative stress into a positive one.”

— Hans Selye (endocrinologist and the first to introduce the concept of stress in 1936.)

 Holmes & Rahe Stress Scale

Stress due to change and transition.

“Self care starts with self awareness”

In the last two years, which of these stressors have I been affected by?

Write down the values for each of the stressors that apply to you.

_____ 100  Death of Spouse

_____ 73   Divorce

_____ 65   Marital Separation or from relationship partner

_____ 63   Jail Term

_____ 63   Unemployment

_____ 63   Death of close family member

_____ 53   Personal injury or illness

_____ 50   Marriage

_____ 47   Fired from work

_____ 45   Marital reconciliation

_____ 45   Retirement

_____ 44   Change in family member’s health

_____ 40   Pregnancy

_____ 39   Sex difficulties

_____ 39   Addition to family

_____ 39   Business readjustment

_____ 38   Change in financial status

_____ 37   Death of close friend

_____ 36   Change to a different line of work

_____ 35   Change in number of marital arguments

_____ 31   Mortgage or loan over $30,000

_____ 30   Foreclosure of mortgage or loan

_____ 29   Change in work responsibilities

_____ 29   A child leaves the home

_____ 29   Trouble with in-laws

_____ 28   Outstanding personal achievement

_____ 26   Spouse begins or stops work

_____ 26   Starting or finishing school

_____ 25   Change in living conditions

_____ 24   Revision of personal habits

_____ 23   Trouble with boss

_____ 20   Change in work hours, conditions

_____ 20   Change in residence

_____ 20   Change in schools

_____ 19   Change in recreational habits

_____ 19   Change in church activities

_____ 18   Change in social activities

_____ 17   Mortgage or loan under $20,000

_____ 16   Change in sleeping habits

_____ 15   Change in number of family gatherings

_____ 15   Change in eating habits

_____ 13   Vacation

_____ 12   Christmas season

_____ 11   Minor violations of the law

_____          Total

Self-Care is Soul Care

This scale shows the kind of life pressure that you are facing. This scale paired with your coping skills or the lack thereof, is scientifically proven to predict the likelihood that you will fall victim to a stress related illness. The illness could be mild – frequent tension headaches, acid indigestion, loss of sleep to very serious illness like ulcers, cancer, migraines and the like. Telling yourself to “calm-down” is insufficient if you are not actively countering your stressors with stress busters : learn to take a moment to breathe, affirm truth, denounce the devils lies, visualize yourself victorious in Christ in this situation, and get ready to feel good!

Stress Scale Scoring

0-149 Low susceptibility to stress-related illness

150-299 Medium susceptibility to stress-related illness.

Learn and practice relaxation and stress management skills and a healthy well lifestyle.

300 and over High susceptibility to heart attack or stress-related illness

Daily practice of relaxation skills is very important for your wellness. Take care of it now before a serious illness erupts or an affliction becomes worse.

Holmes & Rahe could add:

_____  Separation from family

_____  Change in spiritual atmosphere

_____  New protocol every day

_____  Change in surrounding culture

What value would you give these life change events?

The NeuroEndoMetabolic (NEM) Stress Response is our body’s overall approach to reduce stress. Its effectiveness has a direct relationship with the supplements and foods we put into our bodies. Foods like ginger, garlic, turmeric, and basil boost the immune system response and physical symptoms of stress. (4.)

Psalm 18:1-19

I love you, O LORD , my strength.

The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

   my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.

He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.

I call to the LORD , who is worthy of praise,

   and I am saved from my enemies.

The cords of death entangled me;

   the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me.

 The cords of the grave coiled around me;

   the snares of death confronted me.

In my distress I called to the LORD ;

   I cried to my God for help.

 From his temple he heard my voice;

  my cry came before him, into his ears.

The earth trembled and quaked,

   and the foundations of the mountains shook;

   they trembled because he was angry.

Smoke rose from his nostrils;

   consuming fire came from his mouth,

   burning coals blazed out of it.

He parted the heavens and came down;

   dark clouds were under his feet.

He mounted the cherubim and flew;

   he soared on the wings of the wind.

He made darkness his covering,

   his canopy around him

   the dark rain clouds of the sky.

Out of the brightness of his presence clouds advanced,

   with hailstones and bolts of lightning.

The LORD thundered from heaven;

   the voice of the Most High resounded. 

He shot his arrows and scattered the enemies ,

   great bolts of lightning and routed them.

The valleys of the sea were exposed

   and the foundations of the earth laid bare

 at your rebuke, O LORD ,

   at the blast of breath from your nostrils.

He reached down from on high and took hold of me;

   he drew me out of deep waters.

He rescued me from my powerful enemy,

   from my foes, who were too strong for me.

They confronted me in the day of my disaster,

   but the LORD was my support.

He brought me out into a spacious place;

   he rescued me because he


                                    in me. (3.)

1. Hans Selye,“The Psychology and Pathology of Exposure to Stress”, ACTA. Inc.Medical Publishers, 1940.

2. Holmes, T.H. and Rahe, R.H. (1967). “The Social Readjustment Rating Scale,” Journal of Psychosomatic Research II (2), 213-218.

3. Psalm 18:1-19, New International Version.

4. Dr.Lam, “A Simple Guide to Natural Immune Boosters,”, 2017 :

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