Leading through change and transition — by Nichole Plaster
Building a stronger family while weathering the storm of life.
Here are just some things I’ve been learning along the way…
Lead by example, lead with respect
“Let’s do this together.”
Our words and actions should help those around us to feel excited not uneasy.
Speak respectfully to each other. Discovering a Biblical “non-violent” communication style lead me to research and apply Christian positive parenting principles.
“What you say can mean life or death. Those who speak with care will be rewarded.” — Proverbs 18:21
Maintain focus
“Play your position”
Keep rituals that reassure.
Frame everything in the context of anticipating the end goal.
Hold tight to all that unites your family and furthers your goals, discard the rest.
“But whatever was an asset to me, I count as loss for the sake of Christ. More than that, I count all things as loss compared to the surpassing excellence of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ” — Philippians 3:7-8
Define change as an opportunity
“Find the silver lining”
Keep a thankfulness journal.
Ask everyone to share what they are thankful for around the dinner table.
Review feelings each night before bed. “What were you thankful for? Did you cry today? What made you sad today? Were you angry today?”
“ Don’t worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel.” — Philippians 4:6-7
Create win-win scenarios
“It’s your turn to choose”
Say “Yes” as often as possible. Be creative. “Yes, we can do that tomorrow, but not right now.”
Have everyone come together to create the ideal day for one family member: the baby, then the five year old, and so on. Share in the joy and pride of self-sacrifice.
Make your new home happier than your last. Is it smaller than the last? Mine was. Is it gloomier than the last? Mine was. So get creative and find something to get excited about. My hubby bought a bouncy castle, and set it up in the yard several days before the furniture arrived!
“But I came to give life—life in all its fullness.” — John 10:10
Loosen consequences
“Can you tell me the rule for next time?” [… wait for response…]
“Do you want to ask for forgiveness?” […] “I forgive you.”
“Is there anything you can do to make it right?” […] “Let’s do it together.”
“Would you like a do-over?” […]
Demonstrate supernatural patience.
If you come through the transition with their love and respect intact, you can always tighten the reigns later. If you lose them to rebellion, it is harder to build respect back.
Allow grace, forgiveness and do-overs; even up to 70×7 times.
“I tell you, you must forgive him more than seven times. You must forgive him even if he wrongs you seventy times seven. That is how it is in the kingdom of heaven.” — Matthew 18:22-23