For the life of me I can’t remember what we were talking about that brought up this topic. But I recall the frustration of a teenager fed up with the frivolous ways we make serious decisions, and I remember my enthusiastic suggestion clear as day, “Mom why don’t you and dad just arrange a marriage for me. You know what’s important more than I do.” And, I’ll never forget my mother’s sparky response,
“Oh, no you don’t! You go find your own best friend.”
I heard the underlying tones that read, “I don’t want to be held responsible.” A best friend cannot be chosen for you. Dates come and go, but best friends last a lifetime. Marry your best friend.
I find that I share this practical advice quite frequently. But it was only recently that I realized just how mysterious and unfamiliar this advice can be. This fall a good friend who is redefining Love in his life helped open my eyes to the enormous chasm between dating as we know it, and this new paradigm we are creating. This truth has impacted my life in so many positive ways, therefore, I would be remiss if I did not share this advice even more frequently and I will repeat it as often as necessary until it impacts our culture as it has so generously impacted me.
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Often our hearts want what is not best for us. The person that is the best lifelong match for you will love you deeply. If he doesn’t, very simply, he’s not the one for you. I once read this quote somewhere: “I don’t have a problem with settling down, I have a problem with settling for less.”Don’t settle for anything less than true love, true lifelong commitment !
Comme André Comte-Sponville le partage d’ailleurs dans son “Petit Traité des grandes vertus”…